Harley Quinn has always wanted to go to San Diego Comic-Con, and this year is the year. On her first day, Harley sleeps through the majority of the trip, requiring Queenie to wake shake her awake upon their arrival. While unpacking in the hotel room, Queenie discovers that Harley has brought her portfolio, in the hopes of shopping it around to comic companies on the show floor. She has been drawing since she was a kid, and hopes that her original character, “Hurl Girl” will get her a job.
Dylana Dean is a mild-mannered teacher in the suburbs of Florida, but when her students’ stupidity makes her sick to her stomach, she becomes Hurl Girl. The corrosive power of her vomit kills her students and creates a hole in the earth with an eerie blue light on the other end. Excitedly, she puts on her costume and leaps down the hole. In the tunnel, she encounters Rick Robertson, the dreamy geology professor and explorer extraordinaire. He explains that he’s being chased by subterranean monsters. She vomits them into oblivion. Queenie isn’t quite able to articulate her opinion on the comic, but Harley believes she enjoyed it.
While Queenie sets up her vendor’s booth at the convention centre, Harley has little to do besides wander the streets of San Diego. Before long, she gets hit by a truck, and upon confronting the driver, she finds that he’s a sexist jerk, and decides to commandeer his vehicle. Since the truck’s cargo happens to be merchandise and t-shirts for the convention, she decides to open up the back and offer the clothing for free to the homeless people at a nearby shelter.
Hungered by her charitable work, Harley stops by Rude Rick’s Hateful Hideaway restaurant, and ponders the menu. Eventually, a waitress stops at her table and begins rudely demanding whether Harley is too much a bimbo to decide on a menu item. Angrily, Harley begins beating the girl senseless. She hesitates in skewering her with a patio umbrella long enough for the girl to explain that the rudeness is just part of the restaurant’s shtick. Realizing that it was only a joke, Harley relents and orders a cheeseburger.
On preview night, Harley seeks the line to pick up her badge with some difficulty – there are so many lines. Fortunately, she finds it eventually, and, armed with her portfolio, she is soon on the show floor seeking an editor. At the DC booth, Harley locates Katie Kubert, who warns that the official portfolio review event was held an hour previously, and Harley will have to wait until tomorrow. As Katie is immediately swarmed by fans making demands and queries, she shouts that Harley might be able to get a viewing from Editor-in-Chief Bob Harras.
Approaching Bob, Harley spots a man in a Batsuit standing next to him, and worries that it’s the real deal, telling Bob to watch out for her. She supposes that if she can make Batman look bad in front of Bob Harras, he won’t believe a word the vigilante says. To that end, she yanks down Batman’s pants, revealing a pair of Harley themed boxers. Hurriedly, she uses the distraction to introduce herself to Mr. Harras, before she can be dragged away by security. All too soon, she isdragged away by security, thwarting her plans. All the same, at least now she knows that Batman has a secret crush on her.
Security confiscates her badge, and sadly, Harley is left on the curb outside the convention centre with no way back in until tomorrow. There, a little girl in a Cheetah costume recognizes her and reports that the Joker is looking for her. She states that he will be waiting for her in room 7B at 7PM – but she won’t be able to get in without her badge. Gleefully, Harley insists that nothing will keep her from her puddin’, and rushes off to find a way back inside.
After several failed attempts to sneak past security, she spots a huge balloon over the convention area and decides to use it to get in. Climbing atop it, she cuts its tether, and floats very slowly toward the convention hall. Unsatisfied with that speed, she pokes a hole in it, and whizzes uncontrollably toward it, crashing through the glass roof. She hurries past security and makes her way to room 7B.
Hoping to see her Joker, Harley opens the door and finds a room full of men dressed as the Joker. Overwhelmed by their hunkiness, she closes the door behind her and has her way with every one of them – just to make sure.
On Day Three, Harley helps sell merch and comics at the booth with Queenie and Tony, who are glad to see that they’ll probably run out of stock by Saturday. Harley, however, is having difficulty dealing with difficult customers, and beats the stuffing out of a pair of them.
Later that night, at the hotel, Harley falls asleep in the pool area, and ends up getting kicked out. Unfortunately, when she wakes up hungry, all of her friends have already eaten. Regrouping, she decides to go looking for some food in the Gaslight District. There, she hears someone calling her name, and spots a limousine full of Harley cosplayers, who invite her to join them for an all-Harley girls’ night out. Her new friends explain that they do this every year as a different character. Last year, they were all Power Girl. The plan for this evening is to crash a Warner Bros. party and meet some actors. The theme of the evening will be chaos – and Harley knows how to create that.
She forces the driver to stop the limo on a set of train tracks, and then gleefully awaits the oncoming train which slices the car in two. Fortunately, all of the girls were safe in the back, and when the hunky police officers arrive to help, they are all happy to see them – especially Harley, who steals a kiss and a sidearm. The girls begin to express some doubts, and Harley explains that these can’t be real cops – they’re too handsome! In an attempt to prove this, she fires the weapon, and its blam signals that she is wrong. This leaves only one option: run.
When all of the girls are rounded up by the police and put in a line-up, the cops can’t identify the real Harley, because they all look like her. Grumpily, the police are forced to let them all go. Grinning, Harley invites the others to go to a pancake house with her, prompting the girls to whine and beg off, explaining that they don’t want to get into any more trouble tonight.
On day four, Harley returns to the Con, and after a while, takes a break from hocking her goods. Tony warns her not to get thrown out again, because he needs the extra hands, and she promises she won’t, tucking her portfolio under her arm. Wandering back to the DC booth, she encounters Dan DiDio, who is being interviewed about the company’s plans for the future of variant covers. Harely photobombs the interview, requiring security to grab her and drag her away again. She cries out that she wants Dan to look at her portfolio. The security guards state that she is banned from the DC booth, and might as well try her luck with the company across the way. Sadly, she quips that they aren’t looking for anything new and original.
After returning to her booth to mope, Harley complains of her plight to Tony, who suggests that she focus on selling shirts, and go back to the DC booth later, and use his dealer badge. As the convention closes down for the night, Harley’s dealer badge lets her stay later. Unfortunately, the majority of the DC Staffers have cleared out for an editorial dinner which she should be at, if she’s a dealer. After putting her name in the box for a lottery to win a portfolio review by Jim Lee, Harley hopes to get to the dinner in time.
Her means of getting there fast involves stealing the Batmobile from the Batman TV series, and screaming through San Diego to the restaurant. Upon arriving, she begs to know where the DC Editorial dinner is, but a man in a costume warns that she is in the wrong place. Sadly, she walks away, wondering if she’ll ever make it. Grinning, the costumed man removes his helmet, revealing that he is Geoff Johns, and he has successfully tricked her into leaving them alone.
On Day Five, when the lottery winner for the portfolio review is drawn, the name Harleen Frances Quinzel is called, prompting every Harley Quinn on the floor to think they won, and queue up in front of Jim Lee. Harley herself ends up last in line, allowing her the chance to watch everyone before her leave in tears. When it’s her turn, Harley passes him her portfolio and then immediately begins neurotically second guessing him as he flips through her pages. These thoughts become increasingly indignant and enraged, to the point that she swears she’ll strangle him until his head pops up. Finally, he comments that her portfolio is decent, and tells her to keep up the good work. All of her negative thoughts melt away, and she skips happily from the room.
On Day Six, Harley hopes to pick up some comics and merchandise on the cheap, but she encounters a man in a trenchcoat who asks whether she can guess which character he’s dressed as. When she fails to respond, he whips open his coat, and announces that he’s The Flash! Disgusted, she conks him out with her hammer, despite the fact that he is wearing a speedo.
Intent on meeting a real celebrity, Harley spots someone she loves and fights her way through the surrounding crowd in the hopes of getting him to sign her autograph book. Nearby Stephen Amell assumes she wants his autograph, but she shoves him aside in favour of Bruce Timm. He happily signs her book, and introduces her to his friend Paul Dini. Harley gushes ’til she blotzes.
At a comic shop’s booth, Harley seeks Batman Adventures #12 – her first appearance – but the price they demand is too high. The owner responds that she can take it or leave it. She decides to take it, and robs the store.